The mystery of the cross I cannot comprehend
The agonies of Calvary
You the perfect Holy One, crushed Your Son
Who drank the bitter cup reserved for me
Your blood has washed away my sin
Jesus, thank You
The Father's wrath completely satisfied
Jesus, thank You
Once Your enemy, now seated at Your table
Jesus, thank You
By Your perfect sacrifice I've been brought near
Your enemy You've made Your friend
Pouring out the riches of Your glorious grace
Your mercy and Your kindness know no end
Words and music by Pat Sczebel © 2003 Integrity’s Hosanna! Music (ASCAP)/Sovereign Grace Worship (ASCAP)
No one knows the depth of my sin like me. This simple yet profound worship song epitomizes me. You see, I was a mocker, a blasphemer, a proud, stubborn, self-centered rebel. For 24 years. But God.
I never heard the name of Christ as a child except as a swear word coming from a loved one. I was raised properly yet at best a form of godliness in our family that was nothing more than moralism soaked in sin. My parents divorced when I was about 13. At that time I fed a deep loathe for my father that lived for a solid 5 years and I turned. I turned to my own ways. I was the "man" of the house and no one was going to tell me what to do. So I ran into dissipation. Oh I could have gone much further as some of my posse went. Yet I went plenty far enough. Life really was all about me. It's the Sovereign grace of God I wasn't splattered on the road like another friend was at the mere age of 18. We boys woke up that day, a little. I can still see the scene. A green hill. Blue skies. A casket. But we only partly woke up.
Years earlier I had started filling my life with music. Bad music. Aggressive, dark music. One of my favorites loved to play on the macabre. I won't go into details. I never let myself go there. It's gone, by grace. God works in wonderful ways. He used that wicked band to drive this young rebel into a Christian bookstore to purchase of all things, a bible! This guy? Really?! I had to read the book of Revelation out of curiosity. So I slinked in, hoping no one I knew would catch me.
I took that bible home and searched it, mind you out of curiosity, nothing more. That night I woke up and knew without a doubt I was damned and headed for hell. I had the strangest dream. Basically I was at a large table with lots of people. The verdict came. And I was doomed. I was evicted from that table and told everlasting destruction awaited me.
My mother found me, this 16 year old kid, on my window sill with a broken window, trying to escape the horrors I just saw. (I do not remember my dreams. This is the only one in 53 years that is still clear as day to me.) But sin had a firm grip on me. I said, later. I'll become a Christian later. So I ran another 8 years. To the point that I openly laughed and mocked Christians.
The lyric by Stuart Townend (copyright 1995, Thankyou Music)
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
fits me perfectly!
It's why if you're ever near me in church when we sing it, you'll likely catch me choking on these words.
Because one night, I remember it well, I submitted to the truth I'd known for years. And at 6:30 on a Tuesday night I prayed my first ever prayer. A meager, measly prayer. Not entirely sure what I was doing. Oh, knowing I was asking for forgiveness. Repenting of my wickedness. Asking for Jesus to receive me and turn my life from ruin to anything better. Praying that I would follow Him and forsake all my sin. But I felt like a ditch digger in an operating room. What was I doing? What did I know of prayer? Of God? But He didn't want nor expect me to know anything more than, Father forgive me! I believe you died upon a cross for my sin. Jesus change me! And in an instant I was transferred from the kingdom of darkness and brought into His marvelous light!
You see, Jesus did drink the bitter cup reserved for me. I cannot comprehend the agonies He suffered on Calvary. The perfect Holy One crushed His Son. For me. Oh the weight of that! I could almost faint. For me?! You have got to be kidding? Crushed? For me?
He's washed away my sins? His wrath completely satisfied? The riches of His glorious grace poured out on me? The wretch?! His perfect sacrifice has brought me near?
So I remind myself often to stay low, because,
"you were once an enemy but now you are seated at the table!"
Do you know this truth? This Jesus? If not, embrace Him, now.
He must increase,
Kevin
I never heard the name of Christ as a child except as a swear word coming from a loved one. I was raised properly yet at best a form of godliness in our family that was nothing more than moralism soaked in sin. My parents divorced when I was about 13. At that time I fed a deep loathe for my father that lived for a solid 5 years and I turned. I turned to my own ways. I was the "man" of the house and no one was going to tell me what to do. So I ran into dissipation. Oh I could have gone much further as some of my posse went. Yet I went plenty far enough. Life really was all about me. It's the Sovereign grace of God I wasn't splattered on the road like another friend was at the mere age of 18. We boys woke up that day, a little. I can still see the scene. A green hill. Blue skies. A casket. But we only partly woke up.
Years earlier I had started filling my life with music. Bad music. Aggressive, dark music. One of my favorites loved to play on the macabre. I won't go into details. I never let myself go there. It's gone, by grace. God works in wonderful ways. He used that wicked band to drive this young rebel into a Christian bookstore to purchase of all things, a bible! This guy? Really?! I had to read the book of Revelation out of curiosity. So I slinked in, hoping no one I knew would catch me.
I took that bible home and searched it, mind you out of curiosity, nothing more. That night I woke up and knew without a doubt I was damned and headed for hell. I had the strangest dream. Basically I was at a large table with lots of people. The verdict came. And I was doomed. I was evicted from that table and told everlasting destruction awaited me.
My mother found me, this 16 year old kid, on my window sill with a broken window, trying to escape the horrors I just saw. (I do not remember my dreams. This is the only one in 53 years that is still clear as day to me.) But sin had a firm grip on me. I said, later. I'll become a Christian later. So I ran another 8 years. To the point that I openly laughed and mocked Christians.
The lyric by Stuart Townend (copyright 1995, Thankyou Music)
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
fits me perfectly!
It's why if you're ever near me in church when we sing it, you'll likely catch me choking on these words.
Because one night, I remember it well, I submitted to the truth I'd known for years. And at 6:30 on a Tuesday night I prayed my first ever prayer. A meager, measly prayer. Not entirely sure what I was doing. Oh, knowing I was asking for forgiveness. Repenting of my wickedness. Asking for Jesus to receive me and turn my life from ruin to anything better. Praying that I would follow Him and forsake all my sin. But I felt like a ditch digger in an operating room. What was I doing? What did I know of prayer? Of God? But He didn't want nor expect me to know anything more than, Father forgive me! I believe you died upon a cross for my sin. Jesus change me! And in an instant I was transferred from the kingdom of darkness and brought into His marvelous light!
You see, Jesus did drink the bitter cup reserved for me. I cannot comprehend the agonies He suffered on Calvary. The perfect Holy One crushed His Son. For me. Oh the weight of that! I could almost faint. For me?! You have got to be kidding? Crushed? For me?
He's washed away my sins? His wrath completely satisfied? The riches of His glorious grace poured out on me? The wretch?! His perfect sacrifice has brought me near?
Surely His mercy and His kindness knows no end.
So I remind myself often to stay low, because,
"you were once an enemy but now you are seated at the table!"
Do you know this truth? This Jesus? If not, embrace Him, now.
He must increase,
Kevin
No comments:
Post a Comment